BABA

Zia-ur-Rehman, a man whom many of the people knew as a scholar, a teacher, a student, a colleague and above them all as a man who gave his all in the cause he believed strongly in. But there are a few people who knew him as a man that was a joyous friend, an obedient son, a responsible brother, a near perfect husband and a great father.

From the very start he played the role of an easygoing and fun father. Never in his life did he have an aura of an unapproachable father or demanded a level of respect that limited you to speak up to him. He had always made sure that he was approachable enough for us to voice our demands. Never had he said no to our request where he had the authority to fulfill them.

Sometimes when we all were tired and had craving for a very good cup of tea we ask Baba to make it, buttering him up by saying how his tea was the best and he always make it and give in.

Being the head of the institution and running it smoothly demanded a great amount of effort and time but even in between his entire hectic schedule he made sure to give us a quality time by taking us out to dinner or just going for a night drive. From the very beginning he never told us to do so and so rather he explained the pros and the cons and told us his will then left the decision up to us. He always made sure to provide us with the excellent diet, the finest clothing and the best entertainment.

Going on a vacation to northern area had recently become our favorite time of the year. Where we would go to the mountains and relax there for a few days teasing each other and ganging up on our mother and annoying her. Everyday his day would be incomplete without having a playful banter with me.

From the very start everyone that knows both of us say I am exactly similar to him, the way I look, the way I think, the way I behave and the way I talk. So it had always been me and him who would go all out to tease each other. Him making a comment about some of my habits and me telling him I got it from him and then a whole new debate break out, but in the end he always win with his witty comments.

Once mama fell sick and couldn’t cook, so the responsibility of cooking fell on our shoulder. Baba cleaned the chicken while my sis put in the herbs and seasonings, I cleaned the kitchen and Baba stirred the curry. The kitchen was sight to behold as in small kitchen, three people were trying hard to come up with something edible and at last after bickering, annoying and tell each other off we completed our Karahi. When we finally tasted it, it somehow came way better than we expected. So me and my sister started taking credit of it, while eating Baba jumped in our argument and said that it cooked good because he stirred the chicken. Then we protested and said that you were the one who made the most mess while cooking and he was like at least it came out good.

When I started studying in a place where he taught, many people perceived him as very strict person, a person that demanded respect and had a very solemn personality. For me it was quite a humorous thing, as all my life I had seen a man who was the mood maker of the family. Who played cricket with us, who told us tales about his time in Jamia and told about every mischievous thing he did when he was young.

While he was like a playful brother to me he was different with my younger sister. Her being the youngest child of him got some privileges that I never had. Like her endless stream of tears that melted his heart the moment they spilled from her eyes. Sometime we would even argue over the fact that he always tells me to back off when I try to annoy her by him telling me how she was younger. I would go on and on about how it was unfair and then he would go of saying wasn›t I his sweet daughter giving him, again, an upper hand. My sister being the father›s sweetie always favored him in any disagreement we had. She had always been the demanding one and him fulfilling her demand which consisted for going early in morning for breakfast or getting Paratha in the midnight when she craved it. Two years back my aunt (Khala) came to Pakistan from Australia, she and us went out from time to time for an outing. She particularly had a thing with drinking tea at a Pathan›s hotel and put up a status of it. During her stay we once went to Bahadurabad after midnight for a tea, just as the tea arrived, I pulled a cup towards me when Baba suddenly called out and said «wait-wait beta how you can start having your tea? First let Khala post her status otherwise it will be ruined», hearing it we all laughed out loud and my Khala in response said « Don›t worry Zia Bhai I already have it covered». He would take us to trips whenever he got some time and tell us about different things. He engaged us in what he had planned for near future. He always made sure our opinions were heard and our suggestions regarding anything were taken in to consideration. If there was something where he was powerless was his mother’s order and that, was our greatest weapon. Whenever there was something we were doubtful of him telling us off from we would pursue our Grandmother and tell her to say this and this to him. Especially on events where we wanted to stay at her house or getting an off from school because the eldest aunt (Phopho) had come. It always worked. Ammi would say «Zia leave the girls here or let them stay for the night» and «OK Ammi Ji» is the only response he would give.

Once I had a phase where I wanted to try different continental dishes, so to fulfill one of my whishes to eat an Asian place we went around searching for it. Baba, being father didn’t like food apart from Desi Cuisine but still in order to make my long time wish come true, he took me to Tariq road where we had a meal at Chop-Chop Wok and for my sake ate whatever was available there and didn’t even complain. An other time we travelled to Saudia to perform Umrah and the place we stayed in was a different than the one Baba was frequent to, for some days we had the Saudi food that had bread which was really hard for us to chew and when I complained about it he said there is no restaurant nearby. One day we went to harm without breakfast. By the time we came out it after Asr prayer. I asked him what we were going to have. And him being him couldn’t hold back and said “Beta I was thinking it’s already near Maghreb, how about we eat at night? It’s by now near dinner time” and I who was already fatigued cried out telling him at first the meals shortened to twice a day and now once a day, he laughed and hugged me by saying “I’ll buy food for my daughter right now, Don’t cry”. On next day while in between Zohar and Asr prayer I went out and searched the area around the Haram Shareef and found places where I could eat and then we all gathered at our meeting place, Baba said that I have found places for you to eat and started naming them. I squinted at him and said “don’t worry I already went around and found them” he chuckled by looking at me and replied “ Mashallah my daughter made an arrangement for her food even after coming to Saudia the first time by herself. How fast she is ”and I went” if I had to reply upon you I believe I had to take one meal a day and even that would be the tasteless curry and hard bread” and then he laughed out loud saying “ Good-Good”.

He used to advise us all the time about how privileged we were that Grandma is so caring towards and how she never got angry on us. After that he used to launch into the tale about how he sometimes used to get scolded from her even when he wasn’t at fault. There were times when he would scold us but even then he would apologize right after sometime. Overall he was someone I idealized as how a father and a life partner should be. How despite being busy around the clock, he never neglected his family and made sure that we were provided with comfortable lifestyle. Where we know how to be patient and thankful at the same time and above all he made sure that the time he spent with us was not the one that was easily forgotten but one that would always be embedded in our memories as the happiest time of our life. He made sure that if there was a living person that I would idealized as a son, as a husband, as a brother, as a director and as a scholar it would be him and above all that I will always be grateful for the years I got to spend with him making memories that would help in every step of my future life.